Dr. Wahome Ngare, a Kenyan doctor, discusses the effects of contraceptive use on marital relationships, contrasting it with natural family planning methods. He argues that contraceptives contribute to higher divorce rates among couples and advocates for natural family planning as a healthier alternative. Below are the key points from his discussion:

1. Contraceptives and Their Impact on Women and Relationships
Pregnancy-Like State: Dr. Ngare explains that contraceptives, particularly those containing progesterone (a hormone associated with pregnancy), place women in a “pregnancy-like state.” This leads to side effects such as:
– Mood swings
– Changes in appearance (e.g., “rough face”)
– Weight gain
– Decreased libido
Long-Term Effects: He suggests that using contraceptives for extended periods, such as three years, causes significant physical and emotional changes in women. These changes can make it difficult for their partners to “relate” to them, as “nobody knows you anymore” after such prolonged alteration.
Divorce Rates: He cites studies showing that couples using contraceptives have divorce rates as high as 40%, while those practicing natural family planning have a divorce rate of about 4%. He attributes this disparity to the relational strain caused by contraceptive-induced changes.

2. Critique of “Safe Days” in Natural Family Planning
Deception and Objectification: Dr. Ngare challenges the concept of “safe days,” where women are considered “safe” (i.e., available for sex) when they cannot conceive. He argues this trains women to view themselves as “sex objects,” tying their worth to their fertility status:
– Fertile days = “unsafe”
– Non-fertile days = “safe”
Implication: He sees this framing as a deception that undermines women’s dignity, contrasting it with his broader view of natural family planning.

3. Natural Birth Spacing: Beyond Avoiding Intercourse
No Genital Contact: Dr. Ngare emphasizes that natural birth spacing involves more than abstaining from sexual intercourse—it requires avoiding all genital contact during fertile periods.
Debunking Myths: He dismisses common practices like “tasting” (partial penetration), withdrawal, or using “the head tip” as ineffective for preventing pregnancy, calling them “a lie.”

4. Personal Insights on Intimacy
Marriage Example: Drawing from his 31-year marriage, Dr. Ngare shares that he still “asks nicely” for intimacy and respects his wife’s refusal when it occurs. He portrays this as a consensual and communicative approach:
– If denied, he accepts it as “a bad day” (e.g., his wife     might be “doing some math”) and tries again later without demanding.
– Contrast with Contraceptives: This respectful dynamic implicitly contrasts with the potential loss of intimacy he associates with contraceptive use.

5. Broader Perspective on Contraceptives
Enslavement, Not Empowerment: Dr. Ngare opens by asserting that teaching women to use contraceptives is not empowerment but “enslavement.” He ties this to the hormonal and relational consequences that limit women’s autonomy and well-being.

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Overall Message
Dr. Ngare’s central argument is that contraceptives, by altering women’s bodies and emotions, strain marriages and contribute to higher divorce rates (up to 40%) compared to natural family planning (around 4%). He critiques the cultural framing of “safe days” as objectifying and clarifies that effective natural birth spacing requires complete avoidance of genital contact. He models a respectful approach to intimacy through personal anecdotes, suggesting that natural methods support healthier, more stable relationships.

This summary captures the essence of the discussion based on the provided transcript timestamps, focusing on the key arguments and examples Dr. Ngare presents.